Awesome news or stress?

The last few weeks have been just awesome for my writing. I’ve had four acceptances, including my twentieth on the second anniversary of my first publication. I also found out something very promising for my writing future, which, cross my fingers, will pan out this summer. However it is not a guarantee, so I am in limbo and feeling it.

And, tangentially, my dream instructors at Tin House (which I would love to go back to, but can’t justify so soon) are Aimee Bender and Kelly Link. I kind of just want to meet them. Be around them. Look inside their heads. Maybe one day I’ll get a chance to do that (in a less creepy fashion) at Tin House or somewhere else.

I’ve been really productive, too, in the last week. I wrote one short story and a handful of flash. My fiction has gotten a bit murder-y, though. And I keep being surprised by it. I am generally a nice person (when I’m not overtired/thirsty), but there have been a lot of different stressors in my life that seem to only be worsening and taking a toll. I can see this in my classroom. I’ve been frustrated and impatient a lot. I clearly need me-time. But the realization that I will soon be moving to a new country with my wife and that we are not really prepared and that she’ll have to go without me and bring our dog and that my visa might not work out and that I don’t know how I will earn a living there or what I am even doing this summer or what I will do with my life in general and, by the way, when will we have children…? Stress. It’s no wonder I am dreaming of tidal waves and snapping at everyone who does anything remote inefficiently–or just happens to be near me.

Fortunately, when I got home from work today Nat Geo’s “Map of Hell” was on and my anxieties instantly dissipated. There’s nothing like a little history of hell, horror and fear to chase away the demons and brighten my spirits. 🙂

 

Published by: katoscope

Kathryn McMahon is an American literary and speculative fiction writer who grew up in and out of the US. She lives abroad with her British wife and small dog. Her prose has appeared or is forthcoming in Cease, Cows, Tiny Donkey, The Baltimore Review, (b)OINK, Jellyfish Review, Split Lip, Necessary Fiction, and others, including Upper Rubber Boot's food and horror anthology Sharp & Sugar Tooth: Women Up to No Good. She is a member of Codex. Follow her on Twitter at @katoscope.

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